Someone who knows how to love you without being told

Thursday, December 25, 2008

As some of you may know I work in the hospitality industry -- a non stop, 24/7/365, the door is always open, the light is always on Marriott hotel in Nashville, TN, which doesn't guarantee me that I will have every single holiday off (or even half of them for that matter) like most traditional occupations do. It's a price that I have to pay for a job that I really enjoy. However, is right of me to expect my boyfriend to pay that price along with me?Here's where I stand. Christmas is coming and I know that I have to work from 7am to 3pm that day (he isn't an early morning person anyways), there isn't any way around it. But ... boyfriend has chosen to take a trip out of town to see his mother again for the 24th, 25th, and 26th which leaves me alone for the holidays in a city where I have no family and the friends that I made in college are going to be headed for their homes as well. Is it ok for me to feel a little anger in the pit of my stomach at his holiday plans and my deserment? Or am I just being selfish? Should I have to tell him that leaving his girlfriend of 3 years alone in the city is angering, to say the least? Or is that something that should be common sense to the common man?Boyfriend is a mama's boy! I knew that when I met him and no amount of coaxing is going to pull him out of that. But when should a man transition from one household to the next? I personally feel that after so many years together and the intertwining of virtually every part of our lives it's time look forward to a home, family. and future of his own.I love him whole heartedly, but with Christmas being the second holiday I would have spent alone this year and New Years a third I am wondering if the feelings are reciprocated. What is a girl to do?

Poem of the Day! 10/28/08

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Moments of Clarity
By Noir Czar

Torn rubber packet after packet I pursue this high,
questioning positions and penetration between a different open thigh.

this drug comes wit no prescription still remains my addiction
in the calmest of conversation it requires my attention
then perverts my intentions from platonic to dissension
till I am suffocating in a lust and am guided by my extension

then my phone dials you

and now I am held captive by our caressing sensations
contemplating our contact as we progress to fornication
and though I have knowledge of a biblical persuasion
I pursue sex with a passion like tomorrow is my castration

lacking all hesitation you provide for my pleasure
with moments of foreplay before unveiling your treasure
and at that instance of ecstasy I ejaculate and then perceive
that sex with you is unnecessary and now I must take my leave

It is from these moments in time that I often try to conceive
a method to my own madness and what I plan to achieve
how can I expect a woman's trust when I predominantly deceive
and plot with periodic persistence not consistent from dawn to eve

In these seconds of clarity I attempt to control and adjust my way
returning to my locations of prayer when I previously fell astray

then in the calmest of conversation it acquires my attention
then perverts my intentions from platonic to dissension
till I am suffering in a lust and am guided by my extension
then my phone dials you to repeat my previous intention

When It Hurts

I am going to take a brief break for a moment before I go into my normal posts for the day. Although my iPod Touch is loaded with over 1,000 songs and several more videos, I normally just listen to about three ... over and over and over again. Lately the song that monopolizes the majority of my free time is "When it Hurts" by Avant. When I first started playing thus song in incessant repetition I thought it was simply because the chorus was catchy and Avant's voice is soothing to me. But, after a week of shewing over the lyrics and singing them with non-harmonic enthusiasm when I'm alone I realized that it was what the song was talking about -- Will you love me when it hurts?

You see, my boyfriend's lease is up on his apartment at the end of the month and he is moving in with me (along with all of his ugly bachelor pad furniture) and I'm seriously freakin' out. No longer is it going to be a just a simple boyfriend/girlfriend, very little commitment, you have your space and I have mine kind of relationship. We are going to completely be merging our separate lives together to make one and the only way that it is going to be successful is if we can "love [each other] when it hurts".

Avant hit the jackpot on this one!